100 SSSS-fics: 'Til death do us apart
by Windfighter
Summary: The boat is almost there. Lalli and Emil has to hurry to reach it before it leaves, but of course it won't be that easy as sickness overpowers Emil's body.


One more for the 100 SSSS-fics challenge, number 24 "Time is running out"

Warning: It's a Windy-story. You know what to expect.

* * *

"The ship is there."

Lalli jumped down from the roof and watched Emil wipe sweat off his forehead.

"We need to hurry or they'll leave without us."

Emil furrowed his brow and stared at him. He couldn't understand. Lalli let out a sigh and grabbed Emil's hand. Emil's already red cheeks turned redder. Lalli pulled at him, forced him to start walking again. Emil stumbled over hs feet, slid in the mud, but managed to stay upright.

"Lalli, I need a break, we've been running for hours."

Lalli couldn't understand the words leaving Emil's mouth. The barrier in communication was back. He increased his speed, heard Emil struggle to keep up.

"Ship", Lalli tried, "here."

"?"

Plofs. Lalli turned around and saw Emil face down in the mud. Again. Lalli let out another sigh and crouched next to him.

"I'm trying", Emil started. "I'm not as quick as you are. Not as fit. I'm just so tired..."

Lalli understood the word tired.

"Rest later", he said and got up again. "Ship might leave soon."

Emil buried his face in his arms, groaned and pulled himself up. He pulled a hand over his face, tried to dry off the mud and tried to clean up his coat. It didn't work and he pulled a hand through his hair, let out a sigh and then they started walking. Half an hour. An hour. One and a half.

Plofs. Lalli stopped in the middle of a step and looked back. Emil was lying in a puddle, his body was shivering. Lalli went back, kicked Emil's side. Emil didn't move.

"Need to hurry."

No answer.

"Can't lie there, stupid."

Emil put his hands over his head.

"I know, I just..."

Emil fell silent, still shivered. Lalli kicked his side again and he rolled over to his back. Lalli started walking. Emil would follow, he always did. Lalli glanced over his shoulder. Emil was still on his back, his eyes closed. Lalli stopped. Waited. Listened. Emil started sitting up, but fell back down again. Lalli went back, looked at Emil, who placed an arm over his eyes.

"You go without me, this is my fate now. Lost and forgotten in the Silent World. The gold turned to sand. Don't cry for me, Argentina."

Lalli had no idea what Emil was blabbering about this time.

"If you talked less you'd have more energy to walk."

He glanced around, noticed a small shed that seemed to be safe from trolls and beasts. He pulled at Emil's coat.

"Come."

"I said continue without me."

Emil's arm fell off his face and he made a new attempt at sitting up. Lalli put a hand on his back for support.

"I don't get you", Emil said. "You'd think I would after sharing head-space with you, but nope."

He started pulling himself to his feet, stopped and fell back on his ass. He slapped his hands over his mouth as coughs that sounded like they would tear his lungs out tore through his body. Lalli jumped back, eyes wide. Emil gasped for air when it finally stopped.

"Sorry", he muttered when his breathing returned to normal. "I, uh, think it's gotten worse."

Lalli frowned, stared intensly at Emil. At his red cheeks, the bags under his eyes, at his arms that were hugging him, trying to contain the shivering. Emil looked away, coughed again and Lalli pulled at his coat.

"We'll rest. A little."

He gestured towards the shed.

"Safe there."

Emil nodded, struggled to get to his feet. Lalli helped him, led the way. Some half moth-eaten bags were lying in a corner and Lalli pushed Emil down on top of them, wrapped a couple around him to isolate him from the walls.

"Can't stay long", Lalli said.

Emil's eyes were closed, already drifting off, and Lalli sank down next to him, leaned against his shoulder and wrapped his arm over Emil's chest.

"We still have a long way to go, they'll leave without us if we don't hurry. They think we're dead already."

He let out a sigh, hugged Emil tighter.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault."

Emil moved a little, but didn't wake up. Lalli tried putting the fabric tighter around Emil and then he couldn't do anything but wait. He listened to the sounds around them, ready to wake Emil up at the slightest sign of danger. Every now and then he glanced at his clock. They had ben resting for forty-five minutes when Emil started coughing and stirred in his sleep. Lalli moved away.

"How long?"

Emil blinked, tilted his head.

"Cough", Lalli gestured. "How long?"

Emil blinked again, shook his head. His cheeks got paler and he groaned, rested his head in his hands.

"A couple days, I think."

Lalli sighed, then got up from the floor. It wouldn't have made a difference if he had known earlier and it wouldn't make a difference now. They had to hurry, time would be running out otherwise. The boat wouldn't wait for them, not if the others got there first. He pulled Emil up from the floor.

"We have to go already?"

"Okay?"

"I'm okay", Emil tried to hide a cough. "I can walk the whole day."

"Good."

Lalli opened the door. The wind blew harder now, but at least it was blowing in the right direction. He started walking, listened as Emil's steps followed him. Emil coughed again, and again. Even worse now and Lalli bit his lip. He couldn't let it cloud his judgement, they had to hurry, had to keep moving.

"Ah!"

Plofs. Lally turned around on the spot, walked back and pulled at Emil.

"I'm sorry, but we have to keep moving. The boat... I know you want to get back home to your family, I have to get back to Onni, we need to get to the coast..."

"I'm sorry", Emil coughed. "I know we need to hurry, but I just... I can't Lalli. I can't any longer. I'm sorry."

Neither understood the other. Lalli looked at Emil, watched his back rising and falling with every breath, every ough. Emil's face was buried in his arms and Lalli waited.

"Can we... walk a little slower? Just a little?" Emil coughed. "I feel like my chest's about to explode."

Emil looked at Lalli, who looked towards the coast before looking at Emil again and nodding. Emil gave a small smile before pushing himself off the ground. Lalli led the way, slower this time, and Emil followed close behind. The sun started going down and Lalli started looking for shelter for the night. They'd miss the boat, he was certain of it. Emil stumbled on his feet again and Lalli grabbed his arm to keep him from falling.

There was blood mixed with the mud on Emil's gloves, more blood dried in the corner of his mouth. His face was pale, his cheeks red and his eyes half-closed.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were dying."

He dried the blood from Emil's lips and nodded towards a hous a couple hundred meters down the road.

"We'll rest there, okay?"

Emil nodded. Lalli wasn't sure he completely understood. He grabbed Emil's hand and led him to the house where he placed Emil infront of the fireplace before he left to search for anything to make a fire and keep them warm during the night, like he had observed Emil do the other nights.

Emil had fallen asleep when he returned. Lalli tried shaking him awake several times between checking the fireplace, putting two mostly dry mattresses infront of it and starting the fire. Emil was a lot better at starting fires, he admitted after struggling with it for fifteen minutes. When the flames started licking the wood he made another attempt at waking Emil. Emil stirred, his eyes opened. Lalli helped him sit up, take of the wet clothes and move to one of the mattresses before wrapping a blanket around him.

Emil coughed again, then let his head fall down. Lalli noticed the blood on his hands and dried it off with a corner of the blanket.

"I'm sorry."

Emil's voice was raspy. Lalli tilted his head and Emil buried himself under the blanket.

"I wish I could help, but..."

The blanket shook as Emil coughed again. Lalli lifted his hand but let it fall to his lap again. He didn't know how to comfort anyone. He turned toward the fire, pulled his knees to his chest and rested his arms on his knees. What if Emil _was_ dying? Was it his fault? Could he do something? But there wasn't enough time to do anything, he had seen the ship, it would reach the shore in the morning and then it'd be gone as soon as the others were on it. Maybe if they weren't there already, but they had to be and he couldn't count on them being slow as well.

Emil had stopped coughing and Lalli laid down on the other mattress. Emil was shivering and Lalli glanced at the blanket he was about to wrap around himself. Emil needed it more right now. He sighed and moved over to Emil's mattress. He hesitated a second, then pulled Emil closer and placed the two pieces of fabric over both of them. Emil coughed, pressed closer to Lalli, but didn't wake up and Lalli closed his eyes, listened to Emil's strained breathing.

Sound of water against wood. Lalli yawned, sat up on the raft. There was actually something he could try. He stretched, stood up and jumped ashore. Onni said he shouldn't leave his sanctuary and normally he'd agree but this wasn't normally, if he didn't do this maybe they both would die, stranded in the Silent World.

"Reynir!"

He started calling before reaching through the wall.

"Reynir, can you hear me? Are you there? Onni?"

Silence, he waited a couple of seconds, then broke through the barrier.

"Reynir!"

He stayed close to his sanctuary incase It would attack. Leaving wasn't a good idea, he could easily miss Reynir out in the wast areas of the dreamworld. Plus it wasn't like he could travel across the water like the Icelander could anyway. But there wasn't any reason for Reynir to travel across the Dreamscape now, was there? Was he still trying to find the woman he had talked about? Or had they found her by now? Lalli had no way of knowing.

"REYNIR!"

Splash. Splash, splash. Lalli got ready to escape back into the sanctuary. Then red hair came into view. It stopped, gren eyes blinked when they fell on Lalli.

"Lalli?"

"Yes, stupid."

Lalli gestured towards the raft, went back inside the sanctuary. Reynir followed him carefully.

"Are you on the ship already?" Lalli asked as he sat down on the raft.

"Are you a ghost?"

Lalli blinked, then let out a sigh.

"No, we're both alive. Long story, no time now. Are you on the boat?"

"Ah, no. Sigrun saw it too, we're about three hours from the coast."

"Four for us but..." Lalli looked away. "Emil is sick. He can't... I can't..."

Lalli clenched his hands in his lap. Reynir tilted his head before he sank down next to Lalli.

"How bad is it?"

"I don't know. Lots of coughing. Trouble breathing. Blood."

"Can I help? I can...!"

"Ask them to wait. One or two days. We're safe."

"Wouldn't it be better if we came to get you?"

"Don't know", Lalli looked away. "Maybe, but the ship..."

"I'll ask Mikkel! He'll figure it out, I'm sure."

"Just... let me know if we'll be left here."

"They wouldn't!"

"They would and they'd be right to."

Silence. Lalli's eyes looked at the trees but didn't see them. He could feel Emil coughing and took a firmer grip around him. He'd need to find fresh water in the morning, something to heat it in and maybe something they could eat.

"I found her", Reynir said. "Just so you know. The ghosts are taken care of."

"mf."

"Should I ask Mikkel for advice about Emil? It'll be quick, I promise."

"n...no. There's not much I can do but let him rest."

"Oh, okay..."

Lalli clenched his hands. Empathy. Emil was making him grow weaker. He opened his hands again, stared at them. He didn't _feel_ weaker. He pulled a hand through his hair and let out a sigh.

"Just... do what I told you to. Okay? I have to go."

"Let me ask Mikkel first. Please. I want to help."

Reynir disappeared before Lalli could protest. Emil coughed, pressed against Lalli's chest. Should he leave? Emil needed him and after everything Emil had done to keep his body intact it was only right that he helped Emil now. Yet he waited. Counted the seconds, listened to the water below the raft. How long should he wait?

"Mikkel says to keep him warm and hydrated and want to know exactly where you are", Reynir said as he reappeared ten minutes later.

"We're in a village about four hours from the pickup-point, why?"

"Mikkel says he'll come get you when he's dropped us off, if the crew'll allow it."

"Let me know. When will you be there?"

"Around ten, unless something happens."

"Meet me here when you get there."

Reynir nodded, pried him about more details about their location and Lalli explained in greater details as quickly as he could. When Reynir was satisfied Lalli opened his eyes. The fire had gotten smaller and he sat up, put more wood on it. Emil coughed, opened his eyes. They didn't look at Lalli, didn't seem to look at anything. Lalli laid down again, waited until Emil looked at him.

"Hey. You okay?"

Emil nodded, coughed and pulled the blanket over his head.

"It's still night, you can sleep some more."

"I don't *cough* understand."

"Sleep."

Lalli placed his hand on Emil's forehead.

"You have a fever, you need to rest."

Emil wrapped his arms around himself, shivered. Lalli got up again.

"I'll search for more blankets. Stay here. Okay?"

Emil blinked, nodded and closed his eyes. Lalli went to the door, looked outside. There was something moving further up the street. Hopefully it wouldn't notice him.

Emil had barely drunk. Lalli had managed to get a cup of stinging nettle tea in him, the only thing he had found to make something warm to drink from. He glanced through the windos, tried to determine what time it was. Emil coughed, but at least he was able to stay awake, the sleep had done him good. Lalli placed a hand on his forehead.

"Still a fever."

Emil looked confused, but Lalli turned his back to him, felt at the clothes. Dry and he threw them to Emil.

"Get dressed."

Emil moved slowly, coughed, but eventually got dressed. Lalli nodded and leaned against the wall. He glanced at his watch. Almost ten.

"Have to go meet Reynir", he looked at Emil. "You alright alone?"

Emil tilted his head and Lalli let out a sigh.

"Stay here."

Lalli hated using Swedish, but Emil nodded and made himself comfortable at the mattress again. Lalli closed his eyes, woke up in his sanctuary. No Reynir, but he would wait for a while. He counted the seconds, minutes. Still no Reynir. Fifteen minutes went by, twenty, twenty-five. Lalli started pacing around the raft. Thirty minutes. Something must have happened. Lalli woke up. A blanket had been wrapped around him and he glanced at Emil. Emil's body shook, there was blood on the mattress and Emil had both hands clasped over his mouth. His eyes were open wide, staring at Lalli.

"Emil?"

He got up, stumbled over the blanket and sank down next to Emil.

"Are you okay?"

Emil's breathing was strained and Lalli pulled his hands off his mouth. They were bloody, blood was smeared around his mouth, on his cheek. He tried breathing, but only managed short gasps. Not okay in other words.

"It's okay", Lalli tried. "It'll be okay."

He wasn't sure who he was trying to comfort. Emil was dying, he needed a doctor, but Lalli wasn't a doctor, he only knew the very basics of first aid, he had no clue what to do. His breathing got quicker and he clenched his fists, his teeth. Emil looked at him, his mouth forming a forced smile.

"Don't worry", he said between gasps. "It'll be okay."

Lalli shook his head and pulled Emil into a sitting position.

"Should be easier to breathe like this, okay?"

Emil coughed, took a breath, coughed again. Lalli crouched behind Emil, let Emil lean against him. The coughing subsided, replaced by breathing. Still not good but better. He put his mattress against the wall next to the fireplace, got Emil off the other and placed it on the floor next to the other. Emil nodded, sat down on the improvised couched and Lalli sank down next to him, closed his eyes. Reynir still wasn't there and he woke up again and made Emil drink some water.

"Food", Lalli said and got up. "Stay."

He took a couple of steps, then turned back around and threw one of the blankets to Emil.

"Don't die", he added before leaving.

It was raining again and he put his hood over his head, looked around for beasts and then ran into the downpour. The exposed parts of his shirt got drenched, the water ran into his gloves and his arms got colder.

He searched nearby their camp first, on the streets and in the houses. He could make soup from the stinging nettles, but that was only slightly more foodlike than the tea and about as nutritient as well. If only he could find some meat, but there wasn't time to set traps and wait. He found unopened tin cans, left from the Old World, and knew there was no idea to even look towards them. He reached the stream where he had gotten the water, noticed the fishin it and searched for something to make a fishing pole from. Nothing and he started walking back.

"Emil", he pulled his fingers through Emil's hair. "Couldn't find anything. You okay?"

Emil blinked, tilted his head and then nodded. Lalli filled a cup with water and held it to Emil's lips. Emil laughed, coughed and tood a few sips.

"I'm not a baby, Lalli."

"I know", Lalli sank down next to Emil and drank a little himself.

They both needed food though, it had been about four days since they last ate and it hadn't been much. Lalli cursed at himself, he should have focused more on finding food and less on getting them to the boat, but they could have been there now. He looked at Emil before glancing at his watch. Twelve. Emil was half asleep and Lalli closed his eyes as well. Still no sight of Reynir and he woke up. Emil was shivering and Lalli put his vest over him for slightly more warmth.

"You need that", Emil mumbled.

"Sleep."

"Hyyy..."

"Hyvää yötä", Lalli corrected.

"Mm, that."

Emil closed his eyes and Lalli tucked him in, waited. Should he make a second attempt at finding food? What if the others came like Reynir had suggested? What if they didn't? Eml coughed and Lalli dried off the blood before putting more wood on the fire. They'd be fine for another few hours and there was still the nettles. He put some more in the pot to make tea.

"Can't sleep", Emil muttered.

Lalli poured a cup of tea and gave it to Emil. Emil almost dropped it and Lalli grabbed his hands to help steady it.

"I'm sorry."

Lalli made sure Emil drank most of the tea before putting the cup away. Emil's breathing was superficial and Lalli bit his lip. Emil didn't seem to get better, only worse. Time was running out, in more ways than one.

"Hungry?"

Emil shook his head. Relief and worry tore through Lalli's bady. He tucked Emil in, again, and wiped the sweat from his face. Emil's fever had gone up.

"Sorry", Emil said again.

Another cough shook his body and forced blood into his mouth. He swallowed it, his face growing greener as he did it.

"I don't know what happened."

Lalli tilted his head, couldn't understand the words but was pretty sure what Emil was talking about.

"You're just sick, it happens to everyone. Don't worry."

"It'll be my fault if we miss the boat. You should go."

Emil slid down towards Lalli, his head landed on Lalli's shoulder and Lalli tensed up. As used as he might have gotten to the close and touchy nature of Emil it was still against his own nature, especially when he didn't initiate the contact himself. He wanted to pull away, but didn't move. Instead he put his arm around Emil.

"We'll get back, somehow."

Emil drifted off. Lalli listeneed to his breathing, to the fire, to all the sounds the old building was making. He kept his eyes open, looked for signs that the others were coming.

"I wish I could sleep as well", he whispered. "Maybe come over to you. So I could see just how bad you're doing. But I can't. I can't cross the waters."

He took a shaky breath, sniffled and pulled a hand over his eyes. Tears. He shook his head. He couldn't allow himself to cry, there wasn't any reason to cry. They'd make it or they wouldn't and he losing water by crying wasn't of any help. He took a tighter grip around Emil.

"Just... stay alive a little longer, okay?"

It was a stupid request, a stupid question and a stupid wish, but he couldn't lose Emil as well, not right now, not so soon after Tuuri... His eyes got wet again, his cheeks. He hid his face in his hand, tried not to make any sounds or movements. Emil twitched, coughed and Lalli held his breath while waiting for Emil's breathing to turn normalish again. Two minutes, then it was better. Still ragged, but better.

"It wouldn't be a good idea to come over anyway, would it? What if I got stuck again?"

He let out a sigh.

"Listen to me. I never used to talk this much, not in situations like this." Not that he had ever been in quite this situation before. "I must have spent too much time in your head."

Emil coughed up blood again. Lalli pressed a hand over Emil's chest to see if it was a broken rib. Emil pulled away but didn't wake up and Lalli pulled him closer again.

"You've probably just ripped something from coughing, that's good."

Lalli blushed when he realized what he had said.

"I didn't mean... It's better than a punctured lung."

He checked the time. Almost two. Had the ship left, were the others on their way home already? Most likely. Why hadn't Reynir said anything? Maybe something had happened, maybe he was busy getting decontaminated. Lalli glanced towards the guns resting against the wall on the other side of the fireplace. He could keep the two of them alive a while, but soon the trolls would wake up completely and start roaming around. How long would he be able to keep them hidden? They couldn't fight, there wasn't enough amm, but if worst came to worst he could give Emil and himself a quick death. He took a shaky breath.

"Please Kokko, don't let it come to that..."

"Who's Kokko?"

Emil's voice was raspy, weak and not quite awake. Lalli pondered on the Swedish and didn't answer until he was certain he understood.

"One of our gods, the one that helped us when the trolls and ghosts attacked. I'll... I'll tell you more when we can understand each other."

Emil nodded, nuzzled in closer to Lalli's shoulder. Lalli knew Emil couldn't have understood.

"We'll give them until nightfall, then we need to start thinking about how to survive on our own out here, okay?"

Emil didn't answer. Lalli pulled away, made sure the blankets were tucked around Emil and put more wood on the fire. They were running out of water and Lalli drank the last sips.

"Emil..."

Lalli patted Emil's shoulder and Emil stirred again.

"I'll be back in five minutes, I need to get more water."

Emil blinked and Lalli shook his head.

"Me, water", Lalli showed the plastic jar. "You, stay. Okay?"

Emil nodded. Lalli grabbed his vest, put it on and went outside. Less rain now, but he hurried his steps. Hi filled the jug in the stream, tried to catch a fish bu almost ended up in thewater himself. He let out a sigh, grabbed the jar and went back to their house. A shiver ran down his spine as he entered, but he couldn't tell why. Halfway into the livingroom he stopped. The fire was still burning, the mattresses still placed as a makeshift couch, but the blankets laid spread over the floor and Emil wasn't there.

"Emil?""

Lalli put the jug next to the mattress.

"Emil, you here?"

No answer. He hung his vest to dry and grabbed one of the guns. He couldn't sense any trolls or beasts inside the building. Had Mikkel arrived while he was out, taken Emil and then left again? Possible, but not probable. He held his breath, listened. Sounds were coming from behind the couch, barely audible. A vermin beast? He too a tighter grip around the gun.

He saw the blood first. Mixed with vomit and he was only two centimeters away from stepping in it. Emil's head was on the other side of the puddle. His face was pale, his eyes closed and Lalli stepped over the blood and vomit, dropped to his knees and sank down next to Emil.

"Emil?"

Lalli shook Emil's shoulder. First gently, then with more force.

"Emil?!"

He checked for a pulse, but couldn't find it. The gloves, he still had his gloves. He took them off and tried again.

"No..."

It wasn't there, he couldn't feel it.

"Don't be dead."

He checked again, still couldn't find it and he shook Emil.

"You promised! You said you'd get us both there alive! You promised!"

He could hear gunshots outside. They were coming, but it was too late.

"Emil... You promised..."

Tears filled Lalli's eyes, his shoulders shook. He couldn't breathe. His hands clenched Emil's coat and he leaned forward, cried against Emil's arm. The shooting died out, someone would arrive any second now, troll or human. It didn't matter.

"We were going to return together..."

He let go of Emil, sat up, but didn't reach for his gun. He shouldn't care this much, he had seen people die before. But Emil was different. He clenched his hands, refused to shed any more tears. Steps were coming closer and he closed his eyes.

"Lalli?"

"He's dead", Lalli didn't look at Mikkel. "I couldn't save him."

A bag was put on the floor, then Mikkel's coat was wrapped around Lalli.

"May I...?"

Mikkel pulled Lalli to his feet, put him on the couch. Two people Lalli had never seen stood by the fireplace, looked at him and he looked away. He listened as Mikkel checked on Emil, couldn't say that it was no use wasting time on that, couldn't say that Emil was gone. Mikkel got up again, talked to the other two and then they placed Emil's body on a stretcher before wrapping a thick blanket around him. Lalli shook his head, could hardly breathe. What were they doing? Why? Mikkel crouched infront of him.

"Lalli, we need to hurry. Are you well enough to walk?"

Lalli couldn't understand. He shook his head.

"Emil..."

"Alive, barely."

Lalli shook his head again. Mikkel was lying, he had to be. Emil hadn't had a pulse, he was dead, there were no buts about it. Lalli got up from the couch, Mikkels coat fell to the floor. His legs trembled as he went up to Emil. His fingers traced along Emil's face. Emil's skin was still hot and Lalli took a shaky breath. Then he saw it. A very slight movement under the blanket. He placed two fingers over Emil's lips and held his breath. Five seconds, ten. It felt like an eternity passed. Then he felt Emil's breath against his fingers.

"He's alive..."

He turned towards Mikkel, took the coat from the floor and threw it to the larger man.

"He's alive! We have to hurry! We need to move!"

He grabbed his rifle and Emil's gun and put them on his back. It took him three steps to reach the door, but the others hadn't started moving.

"Chop chop! He's running out of time!"

Mikkel smiled, gestured towards the door and they started walking. Sigrun and another female were waiting outside, Sigrun smiled when she saw Lalli, hit his shoulder and then she took the lead. They only had a couple of hours of sunlight left and it was at least a four hour walk to the boat.

"Oi people, we need to move!"

On Sigrun's call everyone started jogging. Lalli glanced back towards Emil, but stayed next to Sigrun. He could do more good up there, could keep an eye out for trolls and beasts.

One hour. Everyone was still running, still keeping up the pace. Lalli focused on putting one foot infront of the other, but his head was pounding. Left foot, right foot, left, left. It was getting harder to focus his eyes, the road infront of him was getting blurry. Black dots dancing infront of his eyes made hit hard to spot rocks and debris that could trip him.

Plofs.

Mud. Lalli's breathing was quick. He tried pushing himself to his feet, but his arms trembled, his hands slipped in the goo he had landed in.

"Don't laugh", he muttered.

No one was laughing. Emil would have laughed, would have offered him a hand, but there was no hand either. Lalli took a shaky breath. He knew he had to get up, had to keep moving, but he couldn't.

"I'm grabbing you now."

Mikkel's voice. Mikkel's hands grabbed him. Lalli was flung over Mikkel's shoulder and the group started moving again. Lalli tried staying awake, tried keeping his eyes open, but his field of vision grew smaller, disappeared, and he allowed himself to faint.

Lalli's head felt weird. He blinked, yawned, sat up and rubbed his eyes. How long had he been asleep? He shook his head, tried to get rid of the drowsiness that still lingered. He rested his head in his hands, focused on feeling his surroundings. There was wood under him and he could hear water. Something warm was wrapped over his shoulders and he lifted his head again.

"...oh."

His sanctuary. He wasn't quite awake yet in other words. He laid back down and stared at the sky. His head wasn't hurting, that's what felt weird. There had been a dull ache in it ever since he woke up from the coma, dehydration and malnutrition, but it was gone now. He rolled over to his stomach and dipped his fingers in the water. What had happened? His head was blurry.

"Hey."

Lalli blinked, sat up and looked around. Renynir waved towards him.

"Can I come in?"

"Can I stop you?"

Reynir smiled, struggled through the marsh and joined Lalli on the raft.

"Sorry I didn't tell you what was going on, they wouldn't let me fall asleep."

Right, he had been waiting for Reynir. But why? Lalli hid his face in his hands. The mist was clearing up. The boat, there was something about the boat...

"Did we make it?"

"I... think you did? I heard voices, but couldn't see much."

Lalli tried waking up, tried to feel what was going on around his body, but it was still misty. There was something else...

"Emil... We have to go to Emil! You have to take me there!"

"But he's not a mage?"

"He still has a sanctuary", Lalli got to his feet and pulled at Reynir.

The memories were coming back now; of him fainting, Mikkel carrying him, the mud, the jog and Emil's body, not yet dead but very close. He tugged at Reynir's cloak again and the Icelander got up and followed him to the wall.

"I don't know where to find him though..."

"I'll tell you, you just walk."

"Oh, okay then."

Lalli pushed Reynir through the wall, followed and started guiding him, careful to only step in Reynir's steps. It was a long way to walk, he lost track of how long it had been. They walked past other sanctuaries as well, none of them familiar to Lalli, but then he saw it, the hallway. He pressed himself past Reynir, fell into the water and swam the last twenty meters. His fur cloak was heavy when he pulled himself up. He rushed into the livingroom, expecting Emil to look at him in confusion.

" _What are you doing here?"_

" _I don't know!"_

Emil wasn't in the livingroom. Was he awake? Perhaps. He heard Reynir enter the hallway but didn't wait for him. Instead he stepped through the living room and through the door he had seen Emil come through in one dream. The house was even bigger than he had first thought. He stopped outside the door, listened. There were sounds on the upper floor and he ran up the stairs.

"Emil?!"

Emil's eyes opened, then closed again.

"What are... you doing... here?"

"I don't know."

Lalli walked slowly to the bed Emil was lying in and sat on the edge of it.

"How are you?"

"Feels like I was run over by a train."

"...You know how that feels?"

Emil laughed, then coughed.

"Probably painful."

Lalli grabbed a corner of Emi's cover, fiddled with it. Emil coughed again and took a shaky breath.

"How did you get here?"

"Reynir helped. I just... wanted to see if you were..."

Lalli couldn't finish the sentence. Emil grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Still kicking. I'm sorry."

Reynir came inside, leaned against the door frame. Lalli grabbed Emil's hand. It was cold.

"What were you doing up anyway?"

Emil fell quiet. Reynir tip-toed closer and sat down on the night stand. Lalli shook Emil's shoulder and Emil's eyes opened.

"I was just... building a shelter."

"...You're so stupid."

"I know."

Emil's eyes closed once more and Lalli got up and tucked him in.

"I'll get better at Finnish, Lalli. So we can talk."

"I'll work on my Swedish."

Lalli pulled his fingers through Emil's hair.

"Sleep well. I'll see you when we both wake up."

He nodded at Reynir and the Icelander got to his feet.

"We're leaving already?"

"He needs rest. I just... needed to see him."

He looked at his feet, looked away from Reynir. Would he laugh like Emil had?

"Thank you... for taking me to him."

"You're welcome. I'm happy I could help."

"Mm."

They left. Reynir led the way and Lalli followed. Emil was alive but... Lalli put his hands in his pockets. Alive, but really not looking good.

"He'll make it, don't worry."

Reynir's voice made Lalli flinch, pull his hands out of his pocket and prepare to defend himself. He blinked when he realized what he had done. Reynir looked at him and tilted his head.

"You got that look again."

"?"

"You know, the look. Like everything is over."

Reynir grimaced, then laughed.

"I can't do it. Anyway don't worry, he'll make it."

"Mf."

He wanted to believe Reynir, but the memory of Emil on the floor was still strong. He couldn't allow himself to get his hopes up. They reached his sanctuary and he ran back to the raft, hoped that Reynir wouldn't follow him. He listened, ready to hear Reynir making his way through the forest again, but nothing. He laid down on his back, looked at the sky.

 _Why do I allow myself to feel like this?_

He shouldn't care, mages who cared too much got killed. Emil wouldn't kill him, but caring for Emil might open him up for even more empathy and then... Then he'd become like Emil. Start talking to the trolls. Listening to them. He needed to stop, needed things to go back to the way they were. Empathy made minds weak.

 _But Emil is different..._

Was he really? Could he be certain? He shook his head. There was no use thinking about it. He closed his eyes, opened them. The light was sterile and he was lying on something soft. There was stuff in his arm and he glanced at it. Needles, three of them. He sat up in the bed, pulled a hand through his hair and looked around. The room was very white and rocked softly. They made it, they must have. He made a move to pull the needles out of his arm, but was distracted by the door opening.

"Hi Lalli."

Lalli stared at her, didn't answer. She looked a lot like Reynir; long red hair, green eyes, tall and thin. Maybe all Icelanders looked like that.

"How are you feeling?"

Lalli shrugged.

"You scared your friends when you fainted."

She sat down on a chair. Lalli kept his eyes on her. She looked through the window, rolled her thumbs. Lalli glanced at the needles again.

"You should leave those alone. They're there to keep you hydrated. You were in a pretty bad shape when you arrived."

"Emil?"

"Still fighting."

Lalli got up from the bed, but she pushed him back down again.

"Sorry, but I can't let you see him."

Lalli wanted to protest, but he felt light-headed. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

"He'll survive?"

"It looks like it. Don't worry about it now. I'll be back in a couple of hours to take out the needles."

Lalli laid down again and pulled the cover over himself. He heard her leave and buried his face in the pillow, hiding a smile. The boat was here, Emil would survive. Time was no longer running out.


End file.
